Battle of the Blondes
by chasingafterstarlight
Summary: When two blonde supernovas collide, hilarity ensues. Scorpius and Louis, the son of a Death Eater and a Veela, and the two players of Hogwarts. Scorpius is in love with Louis' sister and Louis flirts with Scorpius'. Not slash, humour, and lots of fun.


**Battle of the Blondes**

It's a warm summer day. The sunlight catches Louis Weasley's blonde hair, causing it to shine in a luminescent fashion. Louis Weasley is a star and he knows it. How could he not be? He's the son of Fleur and Bill Weasley; he's a Veela, and he's one of Hogwarts' most desirable guys- somewhere near the top of the list, actually.

Flipping his hair so that it falls into his sparkly blue eyes, he winks at an oblivious passerby. The attractive blonde girl (who's surrounded by a gaggle of friends) giggles and continues to walk, a small blush staining her pale cheeks. He grins, pumping his first- another score for the Louis Master.

"Oi, Weasley," comes a threatening voice. "What do you think you're doing, flirting with my sister?"

Louis jerks his head around to see Scorpius Malfoy, and vomits internally. How could he have flirted with a Malfoy? Hadn't he noticed her ferret face? But unlike Scorpius, the girl is actually attractive. That makes him nearly vomit again.

"Believe me, Malfoy, had I noticed it was your sister, I wouldn't have," Louis replies in a disgusted voice. "Now, get out of the way, please, you're blocking my sunlight."

"Still, Weasley, my baby sister," Scorpius' voice sounds harsh. "And _your_ sunlight? Please, Weasley, the sun shines for _me_."

"Well, at least I'm not in love with your baby sister. You're the one that has some sort of sick obsession with my sister," Louis rolls his eyes, sliding over as if to soak up the light that Scorpius _wasn't _blocking. "And the sun shines for me, obviously. Out of the two of us blondes, I'm the gorgeous one."

"I'm not in love with Dominique!" Scorpius protests weakly, trying to control his eyes from travelling back over to where Dominique is sitting.

Before Scorpius can say anything further, Louis bursts into loud laughter. "All I said was obsession and sister. I have two sisters, y'know, and I never said anything about love. Funny how your mind immediately goes there."Louis raises an eyebrow.

Flustered, Scorpius just shakes his head. Why did he always have to say the wrong thing? "Anyway, it's obvious that I'm the better looking out of the two of us."

"Are you kidding?" Louis reaches into his pocket and takes out his mirror, finger-combing his shaggy blonde hair. "Look at me, Malfoy, I'm utterly gorgeous. Don't feel sad- there's no way you can compete with _this_ level of gorgeousness."

"I'm not jealous of _you_," Scorpius shakes his head. "You're entirely cliché, Louis Weasley- blonde hair, blue eyes. Any regular blonde kid has those. But look at me, I'm unique- blonde hair and _grey eyes_. That's just so epic, right?"

"And a carbon copy of your dad," Louis drawls with a bit of a smirk that he's picked up from the Slytherins. "Look, your dad's got the platinum blonde hair- so do you. Your dad's got grey eyes, so do you. Your dad's awfully skinny and wimpy, so are you. You're basically Draco Malfoy in miniature. Me, however, I've only inherited my dad's eyes- oh, and his werewolf strength."

This seems to infuriate Scorpius, but he doesn't blow up. Instead, he just scowls at Louis. "You want to look like your _mum_, mummy's boy? You want to be girly?"

"Better than looking like a ferret," Louis snickers, grinning as if he's made a point- which he has, probably.

"I am the son of a Death Eater, and everyone knows that Death Eaters are sexy," Scorpius reminds him, crossing his arms.

Standing on his toes so that he towers over Scorpius, Louis laughs. "Death Eater? As in one of the coward followers of that loser Voldy-kins? Right, because I totally want to be related to one of them. As if. Instead, I'm the son of two war heroes. One's part-Veela, one's pretty much a werewolf. Yeah, take that, Malfoy- I'm so awesome that I'm not even _human_."

Laughing, Scorpius informs him, "Veelas are usually women, you know. So isn't it girly to want to be a Veela?"

"I use my Veela powers for good," Louis retorts grimly, flipping his hair. "Veelas are expert wooers, y'know. Much better than _Death Eaters_."

"Wooers? Who even uses that word anymore?" Scorpius guffaws.

"Sophisticated people," Louis declares importantly. "I'm smart, you know, Malfoy. Much more so than _you_, at least."

"Oh yeah?" Scorpius raises his eyebrow. "What's the capital of Uganda, then?"

"Um," Louis scratches his head, looking utterly stumped. "I don't know, Africana?"

"No!" Scorpius grins, as if it's some major victory for him. "The capital of Uganda is not _Africana_, in fact, it is _Kampala_. My dad took us there on vacation once, and see, this means that I'm smarter than you and-"

Rolling his eyes, Louis cuts off the younger boy. "What's the capital of France?"

"Um," Scorpius bites his lip, glancing around as if he doesn't know, and Louis knows this. Finally, Scorpius just frowns. "François?"

Louis just stares at Scorpius in disbelief before cracking up. Throwing his head back, he asks, "And you say _I'm_ an idiot, Malfoy. François is French for _the French language_. The capital of France is Paris, obviously, as my roots come from there. And that's another reason that I'm epic- I'm international, unlike _you_."

"I'm pureblood," Scorpius shoots back, as if it's the ultimate insult- _oh my gosh, Louis has dirty blood_!

"Oh, yes, because that makes you superior," Louis rolls his eyes. "I should go take a shower now, right, because my blood is so _dirty_ and _corrupted_ just because we've got some Muggle heritage or werewolf blood or Veela blood or _whatever_. I much prefer being dirty blooded- makes me more interesting, and my heritage is more interesting, too."

"Well, let's just see who the better man is," Scorpius says with a grin. "Let's go flirt with girls and see who they choose- _me_ or _you_."

"What, you just want an excuse to flirt with my sister?" Louis rolls his eyes at the younger boy.

"No," Scorpius protests with a scowl. "Girls that aren't related to either of us, of course. Random Muggle girls."

"The kind that go for vampires and bloodsucking creatures?" Louis shook his head distastefully. "But anyway, we all know they'll pick me- no one can resist the Veela charm, even you, obviously- so why not?"

"Got ya," Scorpius grins and the two of them exchange a look before they both take off running at the same time, searching for a girl.

"That one's not a bad catch, over there," Scorpius wheezes, looking a bit exhausted already.

"Tired already, Malfoy?" Louis asks with a jovial laugh. "Aren't you supposed to be fit and all from Quidditch? Anyway, she's not the perfect one." His eyes dart around the field, searching for that perfect person.

Finally, both pairs of blue and grey eyes light up at the same time. "Over there!" They exclaim in unison. Meeting each others' eyes, they take it as a signal and both start running toward the group of girls that they've spotted, racing as fast as they can before they come to a stop in front of a brunette girl. She raises an eyebrow at them, amused.

"What are you running from?" She asks in an innocent voice.

Scorpius and Louis exchange a quick glance, but Louis is the first to get it together. "Nothing, we were just having a bit of a competition. The name's Louis, Louis Weasley. And you are?"

"Amelia," The girl says, looking at them like they're insane, and then giggling. "Weasley's a funny name."

"Not as funny as Hyperion," Louis grins suavely, elbowing Scorpius in the ribs.

Another girl, who's sort of short and cute in that way, shoots up and grins at Scorpius. "Your name is Hyperion? That's really funny," She bursts into giggles. "Oh. I'm Tenzin, nice to meet you, Louis and… Hyperion."

Finally, Scorpius gets it together enough to scowl and cross his arms. "My name is not _Hyperion_. My name is Scorpius and that's perfectly normal, thank you very much. And my family's not as bad as his- they all have hair quite like _yours_." He points toward the back at a girl with bright red hair.

"Hey, _Scorpion_, I'm Maddy," The girl retorts with a frown. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with having red hair. There is, however, something- well, a lot wrong with looking like a ferret."

"I'm not a ferret!" Scorpius protests, but the girls all just giggle at him, and one girl near the back high-fives the redhead before grinning flirtatiously at Louis, which makes Scorpius very concerned. Is she going to go for Louis instead? Will Scorpius Malfoy actually lose for once?

Finally, the last girl introduces herself with a bit of a smile and a hand on her hip to show that she's got attitude. "I'm Lynn, and I think you're both idiots. We're not looking for flirt-buddies, thank you very much. We only came to this park to hang out and nothing else."

"We especially weren't looking for flirt buddies that have the appearance of ferrets and carrots," Maddy repeats, giggling, as the other girls just high five her again.

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you then- or maybe I won't," Amelia declares confidently, flipping her brown hair over her shoulder. The rest of the girls follow behind her as they walk off, as if they're one big clique or something weird like that.

"Well," Scorpius says in a rather depressed sort of voice, "I suppose that's a win for no one, then."

"It's a win for me," Louis replies in a faux-cheery voice. "Means that I'm free to flirt with whoever I want still and not get kicked in the you-know-where, right?"

"Right," Scorpius mutters, and both of them collapse into the grass.

It's then that Dominique Weasley walks up, one hand on her hip. "What are you two _doing_? Lying in the grass, wasting time? Do you not have _lives_?"

"No," Louis' dead voice rings out.

"Don't you have a James to go talk to or something?" Scorpius asks her, propping himself up on one elbow to get a proper look at her or something like that.

"James is off with that Jane girl again," Dominique replies offhandedly. "I mean, they seem happy and all, but if he's going to keep ditching me for her, he's going to be hearing about it. What happened to his philosophy- bros before hos?"

Scorpius and Louis exchange another confused look. "Only you're not a boy, and Jane's not a ho."

"Whatever," She replies dismissively, because she's Dominique, and she's Slytherin, so she doesn't really need a reason to be angry. "Anyway, why are you two lying around all depressed like? Usually you'd be up flirting with girls or something like the idiots that you are."

Both of them groan in unison. "Don't talk about flirting with girls," Louis moans.

With a small confused frown, she glances between the two of them before just shrugging. "And you say that _girls_ are confusing. Guys are confusing, in my opinion," She scowls at them before shooting a small smile at Scorpius, a smile that's a bit- well, flirtatious, to say the least.

Slowly, Louis gets to his feet with a large grin at Scorpius, getting ready for his own personal revenge plan- if Scorpius can flirt with Dominique, then what's stopping him from flirting with Gemini? "Well, Malfoy, now that it's been proven that we're not quite as attractive as we think we are and we've learned our lessons and our egos have been taken down quite a few notches, what do you say we go flirt with each other's sisters?"

Scorpius jumps up, as if he's eager to do so, when the implications of Louis' words sink in. "Wait, you're going to go flirt with my baby sister? Don't even think of it- about it- my sister doesn't like blonde guys-"

But it's too late. Louis has already made his way over to Gemini and a group of her friends, and with a flip of Louis' blonde hair, Gemini is giggling and smiling already as her onlooking friends shoot jealous glares at her. Scorpius just doesn't get it. What's so good about idiotic blonde guys anyway? He watches, a bit confused, as Louis and Gemini continue to flirt, growing angrier and angrier by the moment.

But Louis turns around and winks at Scorpius, mouthing at him something along the lines of, "I'm so sexy that even your little Malfoy sister loves me."

Snorting, Scorpius runs a hand through his blonde hair. Upon seeing James and Jane walking around- the _perfectly adorable couple_ (and he's still wondering how Dom could think that Jane's a ho), he grins and runs off to find Dominique.

Then as he runs, absentmindedly, he wonders how he's going to get along with Louis if (_when_) they become brothers-in-law, or maybe even double brothers in law if this Gemini and Louis thing continues.

He supposes that the outrageously large family will just have to deal with two shining blonde boys.

_Finish_.

**A/N: so, this is loosely based off the first Louis & Scorpius humour fic I wrote- within **_**one tightknit family**_**, I wrote about a rivalry between Louis and Scorpius, and it was really fun to write. Then I forgot about it till now, when my friend Rachel reminded me of it, and I was encouraged to write this. It was a lot of fun to write, really, and I loved writing their rivalry. I mean, it was bound to happen, right? **

**Battle of the Blondes.**

**This is for my NextGen Fanatics because we've finally got some people coming back and I love them and our insanity and our insane conversations that lead to Louis and Scorpius.**

**For you guys.**

**Read and review and don't favourite without a review. It can be short and simple, like 'good job', but please, just a review?**


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